I’ll admit. I was (am) naive. If you would have asked me as an early adult, I thought I had a clear vision of what 30 would look like.
I thought I would be done having children by now.
I thought I would have a big fancy career with a powerful title, yet somehow in this magical way be this amazing mom resembling the epitome of a stay at home type. By that I mean, have it all and do it all — Clean house, nicely dressed children, homemade meals, stylish wardrobe, exercise daily, etc., etc.
I pictured traveling to sunny locations with my husband and our three or four children just effortlessly adapting to our new surroundings + pleasant little attitudes the whole time.
I surely never pictured being this tired. Or pictured the days when I woke up living from nap to nap.
I never truly thought about miscarriages or struggles to get pregnant.
I definitely didn’t think I would still have hormonal acne. Or have a new found journey of finding my sense of style.
I never anticipated the life worries. Or the exhaustion. Or the dreams still would still be ahead.
Really, I thought 30 was older, wiser and more mature than it is.
I know I was (am) wrong. I know it’s different. It’s not even like I’m afraid to turn 30 or feel like it’s a big (old) scary number. Honestly, it’s just another year in my book and one I am so grateful for. Each year brings new surprises, new joys and new ways of fulfilling my soul. If you ask me, 25 seemed more like a milestone. I was no longer an early adult at that point, couldn’t stay out as late as I used to and was really focused on adult-type-things in my life rather than any resemblance of college life: career, graduate school, finding the right spouse, enriching my relationship with God, spending time with loved ones and pursuing my passions. From 25-30, I feel like I’ve done just that, but it’s been different than what I once imagined.
What I know about 30 now is that it is still so vibrant and forthcoming. It’s not the peak of anything. It is this time of my life when everything seems to be busting at the seams, but I’m still painting dreamy pictures of my future and realizing what lies ahead. The years in our 30’s are about enduring challenging hours or days or weeks, grieving + crying when we need to and celebrating with happiness in all other things. They’re about continually growing in faith and understanding that His timing is perfect. They’re about leaning into those people that have become your people. They’re about this type of surrender that comes from recognizing the life that has led up to 30 years and wanting to live our best life through the version of our best selves from here on out.
So, I’m not scared to turn 30 next week — or really have much hype about it at all. I’m looking forward to the 16th so I can celebrate with my little squad, squeeze them, eat sweets with them {maybe ice cream, please?} and sit back to admire the beautiful, messy, exhausting, glorious, wouldn’t-change-it-for-anything year that is ahead. Bring it on 30!
XO