I think looking like you have it together is an art form. An art form because does anyone really have it all together? Okay, so we may have it together from time to time, but really, we are all human. There is no perfection. And let me be clear here: I am SO far from perfect. Yes, I may actually shower and put makeup on in the morning and maybe you don’t think I look tired, but there shouldn’t be any ounce of envy over those qualities of mine. We are all uniquely made and I wholeheartedly am against comparison. Plus, just because I want to put makeup on in the morning doesn’t mean you do or that you have to, too. So, what I want to share in response to questions + comments such as “how do you do it?” or “how are you not more tired?” or even “tell me your secrets! You have MAKEUP on and look like you ACTUALLY showered!” is that I think there are actions that we can take that help us look like we “have it together”. And, I’ll share a few tricks I have up my sleeve for the days when we really just don’t and can’t even make an effort to do so. Sound good?
Actions to take if you want to look like you have it together. Really, these work.
Self Care
I am a huge believer of self care: Feed yourself (good) food. Take time to workout. Take a shower — because it actually feels amazing! I prioritize these things because they make me feel good. And if I feel good, I have a WAY better attitude toward the day. Trust me, if I’m overly hungry, haven’t showered or taken time to get exercise, you’ll know. Or maybe you won’t, but my husband will. ?
Two other quick adds here: I also include getting fresh air and “me time” in the self care category!
Fuel Your Mind
Seriously, since I have started doing this more on a daily basis, I have seen a significant difference in my overall mindset – shifted toward the positive. I like to listen to motivating messages whether it be a podcast, an audiobook or a sermon I missed from church. I like to read (wait, do I have time for that these days?) inspirational books and articles, too. If you put positivity in your mind you will be lighter, happier, more motivated and dare I even say more productive.
Know Your Limits
It’s an ever evolving process of mine to learn the difference between what I may want to do vs. what I can actually do. Ahem, newborn demands aren’t helping that right now. Surely we’ve all had too many commitments on our plate, or a to-do list miles long. But, setting priorities of what you can actually accomplish is a game changer. I like to make a priority list at the beginning of each day so I can recognize and respect my limits. Those limits may be time or they may be energy, depending on the day. It’s all about the ebb and flow of the balance!
Find What Lights Your Fire
Pursue something that gives you a reason to wake up and be happy each day. (Not just your kids.) I love working on this blog and connecting with community on Instagram. I love the work I’m doing these days and am pursing a passion project (can’t wait to share more) that all excite me. It gives me something to look forward to outside of my intense love for motherhood + outside of all of our regular routine.
You: “I don’t think these are a magical answer to my lost mind. So remind me, why do these actions help us look like we have it together?”
Me: Because if we are taking care of ourselves, we’ll be more patient with ourselves when life is out of control. We will be able to take a deep breath during our hard moments, step back and remember the positivity we’ve fueled our minds with. We’ll be happy and joyful because we are pursuing something we love + respecting that we need rest and boundaries and can’t do it all. We’ll have more energy. We’ll feel refreshed and even “filled up”.
I’m not Pollyanna over here. I have my moments I just want to vent and totally lose my cool every now and then (maybe more often than I’d like now due to severe sleep deprivation). I’m not saying we all have to be perfectly happy ALL the time, but feeling genuinely happy overall goes a long way. So even in the midst of our chaos when we don’t have our sh*t together, when we put diapers through the laundry and lose our credit cards + can’t for the life of us get on top of our to-do list (oh, just me? ?) we can still LOOK + FEEL OKAY. We don’t have to look like we are losing it even when our days seem like they may crumble beneath us. Instead, we can take a deep breath and laugh about it or maybe even find a solution for whatever the chaos culprit is.
The Tricks to look like you have your life together – for the days when you surely don’t feel like you can even fake it until you make it.
We all have those days. That despite what you’ve done to make yourself seem like you have it together, you just need some extra help. Here’s what I recommend:
Under Eye Brightener: I love this Bare Minerals Stroke of Light Eye Brightener – way better than just concealer. It seriously does wonders for those tired mama eyes.
Mr. Coffee Espresso Machine: We recently purchased the Mr. Coffee Espresso Machine and I can now MAKE A LATTE AT HOME. There’s something about having a cup of a tasty beverage (without taking the time to run to Starbucks) + also gives me a little pep in my step that just makes my day better. (Read our full review of why we chose this exact espresso machine here.)
Dry shampoo: If you’re like me and think washing + styling your hair is a real chore, this will come in REAL handy. Skip the wash. Use the dry shampoo. Makes life easier on those days. I love Big Sexy Hair Dry Shampoo.
Uniform: Make it easy on yourself. Put on your leggings, oversized sweater, shoes of choice + put your hair in a top knot. Be comfortable yet stylish and you’ll feel entirely closer to put together if you quick rinse off in the shower (but don’t you dare try to wash that hair).
My Picks:
- Lululemon leggings
- A great sweater from Anthro
- Lately, either my Chucks or Sperry Duck Boots
Friends: Have them. Love them. Lean on them. Maybe you’re like me and you voice text one of your besties throughout the day to share the good + the bad and be the encouragement needed for one another. Also, plan your girls nights. And always text and call them when needed.
Life can be crazy. But if we choose to look at that crazy chaos with rose colored glasses, it’s not half bad. Tell me you’ll take at least one of the actions and put it into play in your life + maybe even use one of the tricks on the days you. just. can’t. I sure hope you will!
Sending you love, my friends.
XO